Protect your food. Use condiments.

Hmm...I just finished reading "invisble monsters" by Chuck Palahnuik. Intersting. That's all I'm going to say. I mean, I suppose there was some good stuff in it, but it was just beyond weird. I've never read a book involving transgender people and valium-stealing houseguests. It was entertaining, but I don't think I'd read it again.

I was watching a dvd last night and came up with a few lines to a poem. I hate poems, but this one might end up working out okay for me.

His hands tremble and shake as shake as the crowd forms a giant cloud of sweat, blood, and tears.
The microphone taunts him, much like an old friend begging for a visit after a traumatic event;
He steps onstage and brings the mike to his lips; this is his moment now.
The crowd is screaming and yelling; thousands of people trapped in iron-barred cages as they squirm and twist in a desprate attempt to once more lose themselves in the angry melodies that flood the club.
Eyes closed, fists clenched, the singer screams,
A high-pitched, agonizing call for help, forgiveness, and peace.
Large chunks of metal ricochet off the roof as each heart bursts free from the suffocating bonds that held it in for so long, and each soul explodes off the floor as it surges to the beat of the music.

Yeah, needs work. I don't think I'll keep it, but it was worth a shot, right?

Oh, speaking of....nothing really, I officially fell down ALL of the stairs at my house. You see, after a hard day of riding and cleaning, I was a bit drowsy as I started to walk downstairs, and wasn't exactly looking where I was going.

It's about time though; I'm literally a walking time bomb when it comes to balance. I loved my creative writing award fall the most;

"APPLAUSE!" walk, walk, walk,...get award, walk, walk, wal-THUMP."

Gah, I am an idiot.

By the way, have you seen some of the topics on wikihow? Yes, I have too much spare time. But some of the titles are incredibly...interesting...

"How to regain control of a spooked camel"
"How to keep your car from rolling off the side of a cliff"
"How to act like a transformer"
"How to get out of quicksand"
"How to be a wizard"
"How to not die when you fall off of a roof"
"How to stop a car with no brakes"
"How to safely swim with Pirhanas"
"How to escape a sinking car"


Interesting, eh? I mean, incredibly useful, too. You're in a car accident, your car's about to flip over the side of a cliff, you call your spouse. "Honey? Yeah, can you check wikipedia? I'm about to fall off of a cliff, and want to see how to-"

Splat.