Writers block, Concert, Sick Puppies

So, I went to the battle of the bands at the Ky theatre. There was some good stuff, surprisingly. Not exactly a big fan of hardcore stuff, but there was some good alternative going on. Best Selling Authors played, I really enjoyed their show. It was nice to hang out with all of my friends again, and I always meet new people at concerts. I ended up talking to a kid who pierced his tongue himself, he customized his wheelchair, too.

I also watched "One flew out of the cuckoos nest" which was a great movie. I cried though, when Billy died. He made an interesting character, and I'd like to figure out how to somehow weave his personality into my story. He reminds me of my friend Ian; very smart and thoughtful, but also troubled inside.

I'm stumped, suffering from writer's block. Again. All I can get out is a few crappy lines of poetry, barely good enough to turn into something better.

I'm in a melancholy mood today (is that how you spell it?) so I'll leave you with the lyrics to The Sick Puppies song "All the Same"

I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly

I don't care nor I wouldn't dare to fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here.

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back, running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
Its all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again

It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by until you decide to go
But in between it always seems too long; too sudden.
But I have the skill and I have the will to breathe you in while I can
However long it takes is all that I am.

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes it's all the same

In my life
The compromise
Is to close my eyes
It's all the same.

HEY HO LET'S GO!

YIPPEE! Pictures from the show. The first is us warming up and getting ready to go in. The next one is our lengthening FXH. The one after that is us saluting after a MAGNIFICIENT test, and the last one is a butt shot of us doing an HXF lengthening. My horse is amazing.

You were supposed to lay me down in green pastures
Next to a frothy river with water so cool it would stop your heart for a moment,
As if it was unable to comprehend the chilly substance quickly slipping down your throat.

You were supposed to keep me from drowning in despair when the rain poured down upon me and threatened to suck me deeper into the endless sea of lost souls, using a large boat to keep me afloat.

Now I sit on a plywood raft and look around at the warzone behind me.
I am stuck in a disgusting, black, muck, surrounded by dry land that cracks and groans from the lack of water.
The sun beats down upon my back as I feel myself begin to sink in the quicksand.
Once again, like many times before,
I put my headphones on and slip further out of conciousness.

I've been listening to a lot of music lately, I love to make playlists. I'll call it my top ten of the week.

1. Captain Kelly's Kitchen- Dropkick Murphys
2. Paralyzed- The Used
3. Honor among Thieves- Suicide Machines
4. Misery Business- Paramore
5. Buzz Kill- Sage Francis
6. I'm the one- Descendents
7. Let them Eat War- Bad Religion
8. Devil in a Midnight Mass- Billy Talent
9. Lean On Sheena- The Bouncing Souls
10. Fight to Live- The Bouncing Souls.

There. I feel better. I actually like a rap song for once, the lyrics just make sense to me. It's "Buzz Kill" by Sage Francis. I don't know if what he writes could be considered beat poetry, but the lyrics are amazing. He actually helped co-write "let them eat war" with Greg Gaffin.

It's not only a time I'm kept
Busy with shivers and cold shakes
Sitting on snow banks
Waiting to be delivered some soulmates
Or wait
Lift and tuck my fate for several levels
Fill my body till they send me an empty face with the head of devils
My breath resembles the smell of flowers
Yanked from life and placed in a vase
Sits and wilts and rots and dies in the name of grave mistakes
That we all make
Believe that we're getting by treating ourselves wrong

and...

This is the buzz kill, jump into the saddle
Emerge from the dust kicked up in the uphill battle
With my guns drawn and sword out
Pointed towards the couthouse
I sort out words from my war torn mouth
I disassociate the actions with their meanings
On some "ends justify the means" mentality

and...

Color me confused when they paint issues black and white
Resuscitate their grey matter right back to life
It's my destiny, she wants me she beckons
She left me for dead but death didnt want no sloppy seconds
I'm certified fresh
Our freedom kiss the French for their political dissent
Like *mwah* I do it with tongue this time

And take that bovine blood out of your wine

And take that statue back to the land it was created at

Your huddled masses yearning to breath free
Take 'em back!
Your homeless tempest-tossed to me
Take 'em back!

The U-S-A has cracked...

It isn't exactly amazing, but I like it. It's better than "Grillz." Hah. The exam stuff, "You only get it right if you spell Grills with a z!"

My horse is NOT a gluestick.

Been listening to an Austrailian band called the Sick Puppies. Their bassist is amazing, I've been working on learning some of their stuff. I've also been listening to a lot of Bad Religion, (no surprise there) something about Greg Gaffin's monotone comforts me, I know it will always sound the same and I can listen to it and not expect anything different.

I wrote another short story...I'm considering putting some of it up here. I wrote an incredibly funny part involving debating whether or not public restrooms are as bad as "roughing it" in the forest. I'm scared though, because I know so many people write stories better than me, and use better language than me. But I simply see no point in spending twenty minutes describing the trees and the birds and the little butterflies landing on leaves. I suppose it is because of my attitude in life- just get to the freaking point. Or, if you are a Monty Python fan, "GET ON WI' IT!


Alright, horseshow was great. During the first dressage test, we had a bit of a spook and run, placing us in 4th out of 4, but our next test (first level test 4) was great. We really got our leg yields down and swapped leads properly, so we placed 2nd out of 6. In an open class. Which means we were showing against adults and pros. I'm extremely proud of my horse.

Protect your food. Use condiments.

Hmm...I just finished reading "invisble monsters" by Chuck Palahnuik. Intersting. That's all I'm going to say. I mean, I suppose there was some good stuff in it, but it was just beyond weird. I've never read a book involving transgender people and valium-stealing houseguests. It was entertaining, but I don't think I'd read it again.

I was watching a dvd last night and came up with a few lines to a poem. I hate poems, but this one might end up working out okay for me.

His hands tremble and shake as shake as the crowd forms a giant cloud of sweat, blood, and tears.
The microphone taunts him, much like an old friend begging for a visit after a traumatic event;
He steps onstage and brings the mike to his lips; this is his moment now.
The crowd is screaming and yelling; thousands of people trapped in iron-barred cages as they squirm and twist in a desprate attempt to once more lose themselves in the angry melodies that flood the club.
Eyes closed, fists clenched, the singer screams,
A high-pitched, agonizing call for help, forgiveness, and peace.
Large chunks of metal ricochet off the roof as each heart bursts free from the suffocating bonds that held it in for so long, and each soul explodes off the floor as it surges to the beat of the music.

Yeah, needs work. I don't think I'll keep it, but it was worth a shot, right?

Oh, speaking of....nothing really, I officially fell down ALL of the stairs at my house. You see, after a hard day of riding and cleaning, I was a bit drowsy as I started to walk downstairs, and wasn't exactly looking where I was going.

It's about time though; I'm literally a walking time bomb when it comes to balance. I loved my creative writing award fall the most;

"APPLAUSE!" walk, walk, walk,...get award, walk, walk, wal-THUMP."

Gah, I am an idiot.

By the way, have you seen some of the topics on wikihow? Yes, I have too much spare time. But some of the titles are incredibly...interesting...

"How to regain control of a spooked camel"
"How to keep your car from rolling off the side of a cliff"
"How to act like a transformer"
"How to get out of quicksand"
"How to be a wizard"
"How to not die when you fall off of a roof"
"How to stop a car with no brakes"
"How to safely swim with Pirhanas"
"How to escape a sinking car"


Interesting, eh? I mean, incredibly useful, too. You're in a car accident, your car's about to flip over the side of a cliff, you call your spouse. "Honey? Yeah, can you check wikipedia? I'm about to fall off of a cliff, and want to see how to-"

Splat.

"We call it a HERB- because there's a freaking H in it."

I don't know why I made one of these.

It's a bit pointless, really. I mean, I could just type it all on Word. But I'm not going to. I've been doing a lot this summer, riding my horse 4 times a week, writing, playing my bass, and going to a concert or two. Sounds interesting, eh? But I've been debating on whether or not to post this. Should I let someone know what I'm thinking? I read an article the other day talking about brutal honesty. This man was to say exactly what he thought (with the exception of dirty thoughts-which occur every twenty seven seconds in the average human mind) to whoever he met. And I thought it was crazy at first; why would I tell anyone the truth? Technically, lies are the only things that get us through life. They soften up our opinions in our minds. Can you imagine if every "it" teenage girl said what they thought? Or people on a lower social status told someone who considered themselves "better" what they really thought? It would be anarchy. And don't tell me you don't lie. Have you ever given a compliment that you didn't really truely honestly mean? Have you ever ended a conversation early so you could pursue other activities? Or what about when someone asks you what's wrong, and you tell them nothing? The human race can't tell the exact, blunt truth anymore; we've pissed too many people off with our lies. It's too late to say; "I'm sorry, I lied. Can I take it back?" Humans have trouble admitting their lies. I know I do. Even small ones, I still say something to defend it. I can never say "I made it up, all of it." It just doesn't work.

P.S.- Jamie Tworkowski-To write love on her arms...amazing story. Go buy a t-shirt.